Who Are You?

Why do we hate criticism? Why is it that when our shortcomings are highlighted it pushes the wrong button and ignites feelings of anger and resentment?

We live in a society where success is relative to how we are seen by others. We constantly strive to increase our approval rating because we define ourselves by the perception of those around us.

When we are the subject of criticism we react badly because we are afraid of being defined by our failings. We fear that our mistakes will become our identity. By acknowledging that we have done the wrong thing, we think it means we are unkind or evil individuals.

But of course this thinking is erroneous. Our identity as human beings has nothing to do with what we are able to demonstrate to others. The essence of the human being is defined by our intrinsic worth and value. At the root of every soul there is a pure indestructible energy that is holy and pristine.

Of course we must strive to express our soul through positive thoughts, feelings, behavior and strengthened relationships. But even when we do fail our essential identity remains intact and can always be reconstructed.

If we can learn to acknowledge that we are defined by our intrinsic goodness we will not be threatened by criticism, but rather we will welcome it. We will be able to take responsibility for our mistakes and still retain our essential identity as good people.

So next time you are criticized, before you explode do this:

Don't say anything for ten seconds. During that time process the thought that regardless of the perception of others, your mistakes will not define you. You will remain a good individual with the necessary tools to improve.

Then watch the anger dissipate.